Ok, so i know i've already posted today, but i feel the need to write more. Maybe its the new layout, maybe its the fact the all my friends seem to be away. WHo knows.

SO i just got back from trying to get my car fixed. Its going to cost me 1,760 dollars, so i pollitely declined and will continue to use sticky tape until the miraculous time that i come into a large sum of money.

Warfey is in the kitchen in a cleaning frenzy, not for the first time. It bothers me immensly when he gets like this, because he isn't happy just having the house being clean, no, he has to sigh and rant about how sick of it he is. For fucks sake, chill out. I know i'm not the cleanest, tidest person out, though i do care about hygeine, but i think its extreme. Hes just to anal for a share house. Then again, so is Zed.

This house is very much big brother. Have i even explained the people i live with? I dont think i have in detail. So i will now, cos they're a damn interesting bunch. I'll just do it by the layout of the house. Downstairs;

DAVE: Dave is the newest housemate. Hes a strange one who i'm having trouble figuring out. Regardless, i fucken adore him. Hes got the most sensational taste in music and movies and we have an awesome time together. We have a lot to say to eachother. Hes troubled though, trying to find his place in the world and in the house and hes pretty insecure. He shouldn't be, hes beautiful, sexy, intelligent, sweet, caring...i dont know, i'm still working him out i guess.

ZOE: Zoe is the second newest housemate. If this were big brother, she'd probably go first. No one really likes her all that much. Shes a very angry, stingy, uptight person. Shes rarely here either, doesn't participate in anything (cleaning included!) and is always off with her boyfriend, who i quite like, Skip. Shes actually a nice girl, and when we have the time and shes not in a mood, we get along well. We like the same music, go out to the same places, have a fair bit in common in terms of taste. SHes the youngest of all of us and it shows. SHes also never lived in a share house and it shows. She has major issues with her weight, goes to the gym daily, doesn't eat anything and so on. I worry about her sometimes, but i dont think i'd really care if i didn't see her again. I know that sounds horrible, but i just cant bring myself to feel anything towards her.

BREECE: Breece is never here, hes away, on army. Yes, thats right, i also live with an army boy. Its funny, despite my intense hatred for the army and its ways, breece is a good person, a good friend and i love him dearly. Hes pretty insecure and will do anything for people to like him. As a result, its hard to trust him with secrets, because he'll gladly tell them to other people to win a few points. But hes genuine. Genuinely kind and generous. Hes ambitious, and loving. Hes a bit of a player, or he would be if he could be, but deep down he loves sar very much. Hes such a good friend to me, always looking out for me.

SAR: Sar is breeces girlfriend. She doesn't really live here anymore, because shes doing her med placement up in Shep. She started off in my life just as breeces girl, but has become a friend to me to. We're not particularly close, but i have a great deal of respect for her. I like her more than i like most girls. Shes really really really down to earth, no bullshit, not girly at all, sporty, one of the boys. Shes smart as hell, and really cute. I wish we could be closer, but i think i intimidate her. Breece says she looks up to me, and i guess she does, like a big sister or something. SHe always comes to me with problems which i really appreciate, even if i cant help, its nice to chat.

WARFEY: Another army boy, but a real one this time. Our social and political views are about as polar as they can get. Hes a liberal, pro war, pro howard, pro everything i detest. Its funny, cos i still like him. As a person, hes hardworking, dedicated and honest. I respect his ways, if not his purpose. If that makes sense. I like him, maybe just as a person to argue with, maybe because it makes me see the other side.

IAN: Ian is one of my closest friends. If this were big brother, he'd be second to go though. Sometimes the others find him a little hard to swallow. Hes opinionated and strongly so. Hes a bit of a drama queen too, which results in a few tanties, and storming outs. I'm usually the one who deals with it. He loves me very much, looks after me well, and knows me pretty well too. I love him to pieces but i dont know why. I know that sounds silly, but when i step back and look at the specifics of her character, so many things clash with the 'type' of person i'm usually drawn to. Hes agression for one. Hes drug dependance. THe way he goes about a lot of things. His general philosophy. But hes such a fucking decent, loyal, committed person that its easy to look past. He forgives me my flaws and i forgive his. I know him so well. Its hard to even explain him.

So theres the house. Eclectic if you will. I'm off to call dave now.

My need to write has faded. I had so much to say about the way people view situations. Maybe i'll write more of my book instead.

Time for a new layout - i like this one for a change.

Why does she facinate me so much? WHy is this bothering me again? Do any of you have a person who you feel so strongly towards but you dont know in what direction? Love? Hate? Jealousy? Envy? She is so like me but so different. She is everything i want to be, yet simultanously a lot of things i despise. Every time i fucking see this girl my mind goes crazy. So many reasons for it.

Anyways, went to Republika last night, just to chill, listen to some old school trash and wait for ians plane. Saw quite a few people i knew, including andrews friend erin. Ian and i talked about a lot of stuff and my brain started spinning. I feel so guilty for my feelings last night, about a lot of things, but mostly about dave. Realised i need to grow up a bit in that department and start being a little more committed.

Lots has happened since i last posted, included several trips to the emergency ward. Fun fun. Spent half this week there for various reasons including anafalectic shock. WEnt down to flinders for a few days to clear my head and get out of the city. One of the bad things about living so close to the city is that it gets pretty intense, and is often a bit too much for me in large doses. I need space sometimes.

Another significant thing is that i've finally found my inspiration again. (a pattern forming?) I'm writing a new book, something better than the last i'm sure. I'm really excited about it, for so many reasons, one; because i think it may just work and two; because i'm doing it, and this just may be the one. I dont know, i shouldn't get so excited when i'm only a few pages in and already feeling myself drowning in ideas and words and phrases...but i am regardless.

Uni is dragging along. Missing class right now actually, as i have all week. My body doesn't feel up to it, and my soul even less so. HOpe rock boy isn't too cut that i'm leaving him alone in artsy hippy town aka creative arts.

Went wedding dress shopping with my sister yesterday which was thoroughly entertaining, mostly because we're very much on the same wavelength. Laughing at all the intense wedding women exclaiming that shes cutting it so fine, and why hasn't she researched earlier!!! So funny. We found a few dresses, but one that we both cant move past. It was this collette dinnigan dress, so unsuprisingly it was incredible. But it wasn't just incredible, it was perhaps the most amazingly beautiful piece of clothing i've ever seen in my entire life. And she looked unbelievable. Everybody was staring, perhaps because she has a perfect figure, but perhaps because the dress was just like a piece of art. It was like staring at a painting in a gallery. Still, its far too expensive.

I've gotta go get my car fixed now i guess. So tired (having gone to bed at4 after an emotionally draining night) but i guess i should get moving.

WHo still reads this by the way? Jessie? Mia? I miss you guys. xxxx