Oh god. You’d think I’d be doing something other than writing in here. You would. But I’m not. I need to talk but I don’t want to burden anyone with this. I’m bleeding everywhere, even through the bandages. I have a piece of glass in my hand so it hurts to type. But I’ll type anyway. I should go to the doctor and get it out, but I cant deal with that right now. I don’t think I’d be able to hold the steering wheel anyway.

There are broken plates and glasses everywhere. I think everything in the house has been smashed. Even the phone. It doesn’t work anymore. I should clean up.

I don’t know what to do. I have so much study to do before tomorrow. Its going to be the hardest exam of my life and I don’t know anything and instead of learning stuff I’m just sitting here, bleeding, crying and not knowing what the fuck to do. This is so wrong. So so so wrong.

I need a hug. A big hug. I’m terrified. Its that feeling that maybe this time its going to be it, maybe this time it’ll work and I cant stop it. And it’ll be my fault for the rest of my life and I’ll never ever forgive myself. Is that a selfish way of looking at the situation? I guess it must be. Either way, I’m so scared.

Anyway, I guess that’s it. I should go.