what do you do when a person you love more than anything keeps letting you down? My answer is persist, accept, forgive and allow them to try again. But it gets old you know?

A friend, a dear friend who in general treats me so well, keeps lying to me. I cant deal with lying. I'm such an open minded person that whatever they have to say - i'll be cool with it, and they know this - so why lie? Over and over and over...

I have a lot on my mind.

Currently listening to: Tori Amos - Silent All These Years

Currently reading: Windup bird chronicals

Currently thinking: Not a lot

Currently feeling: Stoned, sleepy, happy and a touch lonely.

Favourite Place: The couch. It is my friend.

The haze that is the first few days after you finish for the semester. That is now. As always happens at the end of semester, i have planned an innordinate number of things to do in my 'free time'. As with every holiday, i will not follow through with half the number of things i plan. Its just how it works. Still, it sounds good.

First on the list is repainting all those paintings i burnt in an artistic moment of self loathing. I need them for my walls which are becoming more and more dull the more i look at that palid hue of 'buttercup'. Then doing some more musicy stuff, and reading some new books, and cleaning this house, and exercising (what is this exercise you speak of?), seeing people i haven't seen and so on. Winter makes me lethargic though, so who knows.

I'm going to Queensland. Did i mention this? I think i did, probably a few times. Sorry, its been messy. But i am, and i'm terribly excited.

I've started writing something new. Its new for me. Different. Postmodern, post phe-last-year. I dont know if i like it yet, but i probably wont ever know. Its scary and much more reflective on the world at large. Less indulgent. More...insightful? I hope anyway, i hope thats how it will be seen.

I am tired and feeling ordinary. Might sleep.

Stop fuckin reading this Ian, way uncool. Way.