Moment of truth. How many years will felicity be spending at university? It depends on this afternoon. I'm a little nervous, but i have this past history of pulling off exams that i'm severly underprepared for - so i'm just hoping that skill doesn't fail me today.

I've got high hopes for this summer. Last summer was the best 4 months of my life and i came out of it in such a good mindset. I know i've been just getting by for the past little while, and as a consequence i'm a bit tired and grumpy. I think with a really good sleep, some serious partying and long relaxing days on the beach i will get back to where i was at the start of the year. The school year ending always makes me reflect on what we've all been through, what we've learnt and all the good times had.

Its been a very interesting year. I think i'd summarise it as a year of real growth. Both the tough times as well as the crazy fun times have taught me things about myself and the world. This year i've fallen in love - something i didn't ever ever imagine happening in those circumstances. Whilst it was not what i would have wished for i still believe there is no greater feeling in the world. I've had my heart broken - somewhat an inevitable consequence of the previous point. I've been pregnant. One of the most life altering things i've ever been through. It does some really crazy things to the way you view the world. I still think about it every day, and i cant imagine ever totally getting over it. I'm not sad so much as regretful. But these things happen.

THis year i met one of the most beautiful souls i've ever had the honour of knowing. This person changed me in the most unbelievable way. She was just the most truely incredible person, with a passion for living beyond anything i've ever seen. She taught me how to party in the true sense of the word, and how to laugh even when the world was falling down around us. By example she showed me courage and strength, and she showed me the importance of taking risks. I think of her as family, as my sister. I miss her more than anyone in the world.

This year i said goodbye to my closest, oldest friend. I remember standing in that street and making her promise me she'd come home. I haven't spoken to her all year but for a few little letters. I miss her too. I hope shes having an amazing time.

This year i made a whole new group of friends. I think these people will stay with me forever. They are the coolest, most wonderful friends i could ever ask for and i probably wouldn't have survived the year without them. So what if they're all boys - its so like me! Tonight we will all wander up to our usual pub, drink the night away and we will stumble home, laughing our heads off and being total morons. They so rock.

This year i've been in two bands and done some really fun music related stuff. None of it really went anywhere but led to a few adventures. It also led to bowen. Hahahaha

Wel, i could go on, and i probably will later...but i think i might take the next few hours to cram more. Wish me luck!! xxx

SMS conversation just held between me and a certain drummer:

S: Hey beautiful, tell me when your exam is an i'll think good things about you...like always...

Me: Thanks! 2 o'clock tomorrow. Cant wait til afterward, i'm having such a huge night.

S: I'll send you vibes then...they'll make you hot n horney, just what you want in an exam

Me: That better be a promise. Hows work?

S: Ok, but i'm going to be a walking chem factory friday night cos its been a hard week. What you doing?

Me: Not sure yet but its going to be sex, drugs and rocknroll in huge proportions.

S: Can i be involved in the first two?

Me: Hell yes...unfortunately you're kidding. Just my luck

S: Didn't your parents ever tell you not to make assumptions?

Me: Whats that supposed to mean long term relationship boy?

S: Shhh...it means...you know...

Me: God damn it - what!?

S: It means i might just be a bit bored...and you might just be a bit damn sexy...or a lot sexy.

I didnt reply to that. I'm a little thrown. Is this serious? I dont know whether to play on because we're kidding around or whether he's actually propositioning me. Damn sms. I hate this impersonalness...

Couldn't be more over study if i ran up and jumped...althought that sounds fun. Excuse me for a second...

Today is bought to you by the letter A.

Things i like beginning with A:

Apples - The obvious, but they are great.

Astronauts - When i was little i was so obsessed with stars that i wanted to be an astronaut, seriously.

Art

Arts subjects - as opposed to law subjects

Arts students

Afternoons - much prefer them to morning

Ariel - of course

Andrew - had to rate a mention

April - a certain fondness for this month

Airports - remind me a good times

Alia - the bar

Armadale - quite a nice suburb

Adam Duritz - a wonderful wonderful man

Africa - have always wanted to go there


Things i dislike beginning with A:

Ants - those green ones that get all through your tent and bite

Army - evil as a concept.

Adolf Hitler - i'm struggling for things starting with a

Ambulences - always means bad stuff is going on

Artichoke - I dont remember if i like the vegetable, but the word is pretty bad.

Andy

Americas president

Adelaide - sorry...but you know


Geez this was hard than i thought it would be...


You can see i am intensly bored. This will continue...tomorrow is B...

How rockin is this? I'm not the most technamological individual in the world but this wasn't complicated - and now i have a cool template.

Hehehe...the simple things that entertain you when you're studying...

Ok ok tell me - how am i meant to make a grand, dramatic exit when you all call me back? But since there has been overwhelming support for the continuation of the blog...well as i always say 'gotta keep the fans happy'.

So i will begin with a short explanation of my momentary mental breakdown and conclude with a phe style review of the bands i saw tonight.

The guy is a young man who i dated for 2 and half years. His name is Simon (yes, i'm quite aware you're reading this but if you think thats going to stop me from paying you out then you're sadly mistaken. Fuck off.) Anyways, he was my first love, and as you do at the time - i though it was forever. I really did. Then one fateful day i discovered he'd been cheating on me for 4 months. I promptly left him and we didn't speak for a very long time. He then went on to see a girl called Ana. A little while ago i got a phone call from him, very out of the blue. He says he wants to 'reconcile' and 'be friends.' I agree to this, and promise to be civil. We hook up, and start catching up on what we've been doing. He tells me he's no longer seeing ana, misses me greatly and wants me back. I tell him that i cant handle it. However, considering history and how much he rocked my world, he has a great deal of influence over me i give in. Its easy to slip back into old ways. So all of a sudden i'm partially 'back' with the love of my life, absolutely overwhelmed by the weirdness yet wonderfulness of the situation (especially considering how bad i'd been feeling about other relationship issues of recent times). For some reason (perhaps for catching up purposes) i give him the address of this blog. He reads the whole damn thing. He tells me that he "cant be with me after what happened in july" (as though i could have helped it) and that "it was ok, cos he hadn't actually broken up with ana because he was waiting to see if i'd take him back". So yeah, i was pretty hurt. Well, very hurt. Its ok, i'll live. I have no time for people who are so insensitive and hurtful. Its just evil and selfish.

Then to make matters worse, i have to tell scott whats going on. After telling him about andrew he chucked a bit of a hissy fit. Then the other day when i said we were still friends he told me I wasn't allowed to see him (andrew) anymore. Well anyone who knows me knows thats not cool with me. I told him that its quite understandable if he doesn't trust me, but theres no way in hell he's telling me who i can see and who i cant. He says that i'm just going to hurt him, and that if i see andrew again then i shouldn't bother calling him any more. So, thats that.

I should just establish a mental hospital for all these people.

Anyways, enough of that. I'm actually feel really great today.

I just saw two bands down at the duke of windsor. I love rock n roll, sometimes i think its the greatest thing in the world. Then i think that through and i'd say it comes a really close second. Its just so.....rockin. So anyway, the first band was the elusive ones. The were unusually good. The guitarist/singer has a serious issue with leg movement (he looks like hes having a seizure) and knocks the mic off the stage every two minutes. He really really cant sing and shouldn't improvise - ever. Other than that they were pretty decent. The highlight was undoubtably the drums in the last song ("are you true"). It was one of the greatest things i've ever heard. It was fucking unbelieveable. I personally cant believe he pulled it off. I was just standing there in complete shock, staring at him with my mouth open. Made the entire set.

I thought the next band was going to be an all girl band. Turns out they were just the groupies. The guys were all over 30 but really pulled out a good set. The singer could actually sing and the lyrics were not only audible but insightful. Very unusual. I have no idea what they were called but there weren't too bad.

I'm tired. It has been a very long day.

Anyway, thank you guys for being so sweet and supportive. At least you still love me. Right? Right?

Goodnight, sleep well and dream of lots of wonderful things.

"I'm going to paint a picture on my cieling
I know you'll think i'm crazy,
but i kinda get the feeling
I'll need something to do."